News blog writing style

Here’s an example of straight, informative but very dull writing from the BBC:
Blue diamond fetches record price
Here’s something much better from the Mail Online:
Police’s latest brainwave: Report people who wear too much ‘bling’ to Crimestoppers
You have gone for a online journalism job. They sit you in a room with a computer and internet. They say: “I want you to write an amusing, idiosyncratic blog post about how to control spots”.
Research first then write. Here’s a Times piece to help set you on the way.
Male beauty: how to control spots
Time: 30 minutes. Word length: up to you.