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Second in a series too sporadic to merit the title: via @newkingarts comes this fascinating technological breakthrough – the anti-alien abduction helmet.

“Used successfully by former abductees for thirteen years,” the helmet is simple to make and takes just four hours to create.

You will need: a hat or helmet made from leather, vinyl, rubber or similar, plus 2 square yards of 3M Velostat (an opaque, volume-conductive, carbon-impregnated polyolefin, FYI).

The endorsements are persuasive, to say the least: “Since trying Michael Menkin’s Helmet, I have not been bothered by alien mind control. Now my thoughts are my own,” says an alien abductee from Kentucky.

How can this work? I’m glad you asked. It scrambles telepathic communication between aliens and humans, obviously. “Aliens cannot immobilise people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds.” No thought control, no abduction.

Remember: “If you are abducted by aliens the helmet will work for you.” It’s a promise.

I see another weekend tech project looming. I reckon this one will be more successful than my last…

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